Sometimes you need to be seen

It’s not news that I struggle with practising alone. I love the shared energy of a self-practice class. And I love being adjusted and assisted. I’m a member of a Facebook group for people who practice at home and I am full of admiration for them. Many never or very rarely have the chance to go to a shala and still maintain a six-day-a-week practice. I am in awe.

I am very fortunate in that I can regularly go to classes with brilliant teachers but not as often as I would like or need to practice. So it needs to work for me at home.

I have bought different heaters, props and paraphernalia in the hope that it will motivate me. But no luck.

And then I remembered something one of my first and most influential teachers, April Nunes Tucker, said to me. When I first started teaching in a class environment I wanted to adjust every student in every asana. Because I couldn’t I felt like they wouldn’t be getting a good enough experience. ‘Sometimes people just need to be seen,’ said April. ‘They just want to show up and be seen.’

And I realised that the key to my home practice was to be seen. So I have started filming my practice when I’m alone. I don’t intend to share it with anyone or even watch it back. It isn’t perfect but it makes me accountable.

I hope that I will learn to love practising alone as much as I do alongside other yogis. But for now, this way of being seen is what I need for where I am currently on my own yoga journey.